city lights

you reached out to me through wires
and wireless signals
spoke out in generic text emails
my handwritten words went unreturned
and my heart served the purpose
of feeding your brain
with the dull and plain friendship
i'm always reduced to
now you don't say much
and i keep myself from you
so that you can stop praising me
because that makes me want you
and so here i am waiting
for an unscheduled visit
from your unplanned destination
of emotional fulfillment
your bags are unpacked
and i'm ready to go
but it hurts me to realize you left long ago

and i was just a stop on the way to your freedom
a ribbon to wear on your shirt, you had me pleading
for one more night wrapped in your arms so safe and warm
now i'm frozen in place and your free to move on

there's no mark on your character
there's no mark on my body
all i'm left with is sickness you breathed into me
i welcomed the possibility of building a mountain
that now only exists in dreams in memories
of me flying to my home away from home
away from you, and i missed you so
and i slept and opened my eyes `
to stars matched by flickering city lights that shined just as bright
i don't know what makes me qualified to see such sights
my head takes flights above your body in the night
and i think everything of each moment
i give myself the best possible view
get the window seat to every great thing about you
and realize that starry sky with city lights reflected
is only projected when i'm far away
up close and personal
is a person so small that one of those flickering lights is enough
to keep her aware of her surroundings
she doesn't get carried away

and i wonder what its like to be that tiny
to not even know to expect so much more
out of something so magnificent as vision
when you walk through open doors

my heads been in the clouds before
and i'll never forget the view, i matched with you.